It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything really personal. That’s because I’ve been pretty damn angry and I’ve wanted to vent and shout and blame and be a nasty-ass name caller. So, I haven’t written.
It has been HARD. And tonight I’m feeling like I don’t give an F (read that FFFFFFFFFFFF) because I went to an amazing event and someone was there who has tried her best to destroy me because, well, who the FFFFFFFFFFFFF knows why, but she did.
The basics are this: Ms. FFFFFFFFFFFFF and I had planned to drive Route 66. I wanted to make it a fundraiser. She did not. I acquiesced and we planned it. Then six weeks before we were going to leave she balked and said she couldn’t go if we didn’t get gas money. Fine, I said, but I was still going to go. I’d already gotten the car sponsor and was determined to take this trip. That, apparently, didn’t work for her.
She said I was not allowed to drive Route 66 without her. She said that I should not “underestimate what she was capable of doing” to keep ME from going on OUR trip (this is in an email, which I’ve saved, of course). That I was not allowed to drive Route 66. Period.
To me that was a giant billboard-sized sign saying she had no idea what Route 66 was about and that meant I would NEVER drive it with her. So, I forged ahead. She kept threatening. She stabbed me in the back so blatantly that sponsors announced they were supporting me just to show her that those tactics didn’t fly.
Then came the fake attacks. Fake Twitter accounts were set up for the sole purpose of discrediting me. I thought, my friends thought “this is just some obnoxious person complaining in a loud restaurant and nobody will hear” because there were so few followers, and those that did hear would think she was a Class A Jerk. Except Big Sponsor A thought that a bunch of people in the next booth might hear, and maybe the party in the next room might hear, and they got scared. So they started asking what we were doing to stop Class A Jerk.
I’ve got pages – 15? 16? – pages of screenshots of libelous and defamatory statements made by these fake accounts, and a few statements from hers truly. I called an attorney and he told me when I got back I could sue her for big bucks. I tried to ignore Class A Jerk because, as any recipient of Junior High School bullying knows, that’s the best way to defeat them, but Big Sponsor A was still worried. During my 16 day drive on Route 66 I spent so much time on damage control that I couldn’t spend any time trying to actually raise money.
Why was I trying to raise money? Once Ms. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf or Class A Jerk, whichever you want to call her, said she couldn’t go if it wasn’t going to make her money, I started trying to raise money for Endure To Cure and pediatric cancer research. Operative word being TRYING, because I ended up spending more time defending what I was TRYING to do and had no time at all to spend actually DOING the fundraising.
The whole pitiful amount raised ended up being $75. Seventy-five dollars. The fake account called us out on that, of course. Never once acknowledging that the reason our total was so pitifully low was because she had done such a great job making us defend what we were doing that we didn’t spend any time actually raising money.
Note that I didn’t say she did a great job discrediting us. A fake account with fewer followers than you’ll sit behind at a toll line near O’Hare does not a compelling argument make. However, since our biggest sponsor was freaked out about said fake account we spent SO much time trying to assuage their fears that, in essence, nothing was raised.
That really pisses me off. Add to that the fact that somebody backed into our car in Amarillo – when it was parked on a street and we weren’t there – and we spent a quarter of our time in one city waiting for it to get fixed and had to rush through the rest of the trip – and Crazy Person A even tried to turn THAT into our fault – and an adventure that was supposed to raise a ton of money for a great cause turns into an explanation of this and that when we had NOTHING to explain and you’ve got one frustrated and extremely irritated lady.
I’ve tried to put it aside. But when I saw Ms. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF tonight it all came rushing back in a white hot heat. She kept walking by and looking in my direction so I was glad to be in her line of sight so she could SEE that she hadn’t gotten the best of me, with her puerile tactics and her juvenile attacks.
And that’s what made me realize that I was still so very, very angry. I haven’t told anybody publicly what happened. I haven’t let it out or bitched and moaned. I haven’t made good my threats to take her to court – although I’m still thinking about it. I haven’t said to Big Sponsor A. HEY – why did you blame ME for Crazy Person A’s attacks?
I guess I’m doing that now. So, Ms. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, if you’re reading this, you might want to get an attorney because I’ve got screen shots galore of defamatory statements that can ultimately be traced back to you. I even have screen shots of statements you’ve made from your REAL Twitter account that are libelous. Run. Hide. Or, own up and do the right thing.
And Big Sponsor A? Thank you SO much for believing in what I was trying to do. Please don’t let one icky nasty person who doesn’t even believe enough in what they’re saying to make their threats traceable (after being called out) affect the people you DO believe in. You’re an awesome company and I hope you stay that way.
I had an experience of a lifetime this year and I tried my damnedest to do something good and I have not WILL NOT let one misguided soul take that away. But I will let her know, and anyone else who chooses to be a troll and damage people behind the anonymity of cyberspace: karma’s a bitch. Play with it at your own risk.
I live my life by genuinely trying to do good, and not just because I know that if I do something bad it will jump up and bite me in the lilly whites. I want to look in the mirror every day and be proud of who I am and what I’m bringing to this world. I hope, Ms. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, that someday you will learn to do the same.