When I started this blog I chose Point and Shoot as my tag line for its dual meaning. I wanted the association with photography and I also wanted to convey that here, I would shoot straight. This would be a place where the internal censor would take a mini-vacation and my thoughts – bright, dull, and downright dark – would all come to light.
It’s a scary prospect for an introvert. Despite my public persona and my seemingly extroverted personality, I’m a quiet and solitary person by nature. I’m an extroverted introvert. But more so, I’m a writer.
Being that, and writing from the safety of my computer, I tend to forget that People will react to what I write, and will comment and will judge.
That’s all well and good until I post something with some controversy. I’ve discovered that I tend to do that here. It has been a discovery for me – I had no idea I was so opinionated until I started putting it out there for the world to see. I mean, inherently I knew I was because that’s how I make daily decisions, but without articulation it didn’t seem quite so defined. Now it’s evident to anyone who comes across this that I’ve got very definite ideas about what I’ll accept and what I expect.
In my 20’s I kept journals. They were my therapists. They ensured my sanity during a time of insane relationships. I vented I bemoaned I bitched I let everything out. It was cathartic and was a safety valve and I could release the pressure any time I needed it by opening that spiral bound notebook and scrawling in between and over the lines. Nobody was supposed to read them but me. Until my soon-to-be-ex-husband stole my journals. Then he had at his fingertips my innermost thoughts and all the things I didn’t think anyone should ever see.
And nothing happened.
He was angry. He threw heated words at me and printed passages to show people what a bad bad person I was, but, the end result was that nothing happened. Many, many years have since passed, and in that time I’ve realized that putting my thoughts out there for everyone to see is a) probably not that interesting unless you’re intimately involved and b) certainly not as entertaining as it was 20 years ago. But c), may be a bit more intellectually and ethically challenging.
Maybe I’ll be intellectually challenging. Apparently I have definite opinions on ethical behavior so will be challenging in that way. If nothing else, I hope I’ll be entertaining.
Ready, aim, fire.