A woman’s six favorite words:
“How much weight have you lost?”
Granted that’s if the woman hearing them has gained, um, a lot of weight since moving to Chicago. Another woman’s six favorite words might be “Quarter Pounder large fries Diet Coke”, or “I love you, marry me now”, or “tickets please, this plane is boarding”. Tonight, my favorite six words were “how much weight have you lost?”
Truth is, I don’t really know. I last weighed myself a few weeks ago and was so frustrated that I practically threw the scale out of the bathroom window. I’ve been seeing a trainer for several months, but if the only time I work out is when I see the trainer then I’m not going to see a whole lot of change. Unless, of course, it’s my trainer, who has pushed me so hard that my lazy ass has managed to grow increasingly stronger despite my best efforts at slacking off in between our sessions.
Anyway, because of her influence I have given up my cola addiction of 30+ years and, in general, am more aware of what I’m putting into my body. And in the last few weeks I’ve actually been working out in between sessions with her and today I used my brand spankin’ new TRX system for the very first time. So I was damn pleased when a friend I hadn’t seen in a while’s first words to me were “alright, how much weight have you lost”.
I don’t know, and I sure as Hell am not getting on the scale tomorrow. I do know that my cheekbones are front and center for the first time in a few years and I actually have a waist (itty bitty indentation implying a waist, but it’s there) and I can have my picture taken in profile without worrying my saggy chin will run the show.
It got me thinking about other little changes I’ve made that will, eventually, have big results. One is learning to say no. Oh, that is so very, very hard, and recently I’ve had to do it a few times. Each time wasn’t big; it was a little no that said I can’t do this right now. But saying no is vital when it’s to a request that is not right for me, for my plans, for my integrity, when I just don’t have the time, etc. etc. Saying no frees me up to do what I’m meant to do, and do it well. If I say yes to everything, as I’ve been apt to do, then nothing is great.
Tonight I made another little change. I reached out to someone I had a falling out with awhile ago. It was awkward. But, it was something I needed to do. I don’t like conflict and I do believe people change. I really don’t like the idea of cutting someone entirely out of my life. It seems extreme, and for someone who is passionate but who tries very, very hard not to be self-righteous, my attitude towards this person felt a bit hypocritical. So, I reached out. And she reached back. Both of us were tentative and I doubt we’ll go any further, but we’ve made amends for us, and that’s OK.
I’ve made more changes here and there. Some of them, like learning to say no, have to do with standing up for myself. Some of them are about reaching out.
They’re all little victories. And they add up to great things. Like, “how much weight have you lost?” or, my other favorite six words from tonight, “you looked amazing by the way!” (OK, By the way was abbreviated to btw, but it still counted as three words…right?)